They lied to us. In so many ways, society has lied to us about who we are and how to define ourselves, and so many of us, I think everyone at one time or another, felt wrong or out of place, because we did not fit into the lie. We all have or do feel like frauds. We are not skinny enough or tall enough or rich enough or smart enough. We went from the institution of school to work to marriage to parenthood, and all of the expectations of how we should feel and function in these institutions, fit very few of us. And we fell/felt, flawed and frayed.
Here are some big lies that made me feel broken:
Big lie number 1 – You are not smart. I was not great at school, I am dyslexic, I also have problems with words, I know the meaning but will often assign a similar sounding word in my head, because of the way the word looks on paper. I’m sure there is a name for it. I thought I was dumb. I was so frustrated in school sometimes I wanted to scream out, so I acted out and distracted the rest of the class so no one would know how scared I was. How frustrated I was! I found out years later, in the Army, that I’m far from stupid and that I could take the big picture and melt it down to a small, actionable plan, and then execute that plan. No one tests for what kids are good at and then teach them the way they think. So though I was in Honors English, I cheated in every Math class to graduate. I still feel I did not earn my high school diploma. The lie here is that we should be expected to all learn the same way. That anyone is smart or dumb or assigned letters A,B,C,D,F. The lie is that the bar the educational system tests to is any direct correlation to how we will or can do in life except for the high or low expectation of ourselves. I learned by default that I have a brilliant mind in certain ways, and that the ways my mind does not do so well, are not ways that are part of my life path. I’m not an accountant, and thank God. I’m an artist, a comedian, a project manager, a dancer, a healer and a teacher. My mind works perfectly for me. I am empathic and feel how others feel, and I make people feel safe and okay to fall apart. But I can’t do fractions. So I’m okay debunking the lie. We are all brilliant in the ways we need to be to follow our individual, and divine calling. That is the truth.
Read more in Big Lies Part 2